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- I'm starting to think bullet points are getting kinda boring. So here, I'm gonna borrow Heather Beam's bold intro thingy. Just one time. I'm sure it's copyrighted, right?
We interrupt this program to bring you an unimportant news bulletin: There is a maniac on the loose by the name of Dante and his Jeans. Jeans? Seriously? I don't think a pair of pants are gonna help this Dante guy. So, um, where was I going with this? Oh, so the Four Buddies are still walking.
"Do you see anything yet?" James asked, panting.
"We have not seen anything. I wish there was another ranger station or something," Alex said.
"There's not anythingaround. I think I should die now," Angela said.
"No! You will not kill yourself until you have married Alex!" Vincent said.
"Vincent, I am tired of you making jokes! Stop!" Alex yelled.
"I can't help myself..."
"Hey guys! There's a building there!" James said, pointing to a huge deteriorated building.
"This downpour seems like it won't stop. I think we should go there for shelter. That tree wouldn't help us now," Vincent said.
"I agree. My sweater's getting wet," Angela said, shaking the water out of her hair like a dog.
"You look funny when you do that! Ahyuh!" James said.
Dante and Jean walked on an asphalt path leading to the abandoned warehouse. "Look, Jean. Obviously those four hate me, and it is my duty to kill them. There shall be no Dante hater in the entire world! And besides, I gotta kill the suicidal one because she looked at me funny."
"You had her in a head lock."
"So?! THEY WILL DIE! ALL OF THEM!! Hey, who's that?" Dante said, pointing at a bench. A girl was rocking out to a song on the radio she had with her.
"Blue sky to foreva, the green grass blows in the wind..."
Jean walked up to this girl. "Who are you?'
The girl didn't hear.
"I said, WHO ARE YOU?!"
She still didn't answer.
Jean was furious, so she grabbed the radio and threw it on the floor. She stepped on it, picked it up, and threw it far away from them.
"What was that for?!" the girl asked. "And hey, that guy lookes kinda cute."
"That's my boyfriend, Dante. HE'S MINE! Oh, and WHO ARE YOU, FOR THE LAST TIME?!"
"I'm Mandy. I'm cool. Who are you?"
"Jean. I'm cooler than you."
"Liar, I'm cooler. What are you doing here?"
"I'm cooler! I just wanted to know who the f you are."
"And you crushed my radio for that? By the way, I'm cooler."
"Girls, please! Don't fight over me! My not-as-hot-as-me brother could be just for you, Mandy."
"Shut up. I'm cooler, and you can't do anything about it!"
"I have a kick-ass boyfriend so there! I'm cooler!"
"I have a friend named Shroomy who- never mind. You win."
"Ha! I'm cooler! Loser!"
"Now what do you want?"
"I want to-"
Dante pushed Jean aside. "I want YOU to join my army of Anti-Dante Haters!"
"Why should I?" Mandy asked, spitting out the gum she was chewing.
"Because it is against the LAW to be a Dante Hater!"
"Why is it against the law?"
"Well, becau- you see- but let's- kinda- achoo!- this time- I say- because- well- you know- I want- BECAUSE IT IS, OKAY?!"
"Whatever. Will I get paid?"
"Everything you got."
"... ... ... ... ... five million dollars."
"Okay, I can rob a bank. Come on, let's go."
Claudia and the Missionary were tired of playing Elefun. "Let's do something else," MIssionary asked.
"More Candy Land?"
"No, that's boring."
"Um, Snakes and Ladders?"
"What the f is that?"
"I don't know, I just made it up. Um... Don't Spill the Beans?"
"I'm sure you've spilled a lot of beans, so, YOU'RE GOING DOWN!"
"This place looks rotten," Alex said.
"But is there rain hitting us?" James asked.
"No...?" Vincent said.
"Exactly. So we're fine! Let's stay here until the rain stops, yeah?"
"I would," Angela said, sitting on top of a huge wire spool.
"I guess we could stay here," Alex said, and took a seat on a discarded carousel horse.
"Now what are we gonna do?" James asked.
"Wait till the rain stops. Duh," Vincent said.
"There! You see, Jean and Mandy, there's the warehouse! DEM HATERZ ARE GOIN DOWN!"