• The eight part of this installment! Is there something interesting? I doubt it!
  • Here we go with part 8!

"Thanks a lot, James. Now we are stuck out here with no food, no water, no shelter, and now no car. We have nowhere to go. We are stranded out in the middle of the woods where no one is around-"

"James, stop talking to yourself!" Vincent said.

"I am describing the situation for you! And that is the truth! we have no water, no food, no shelter, no car..."

"We have that huge tree. The branches form a little roof!" Alex said, pointing at a huge pine tree.

"I guess we could stay there a while, but how will we get home?" Angela asked.

"Ask James."

"Stop it, James, you're annoying!" Vincent said, raising his voice.

"Get under the tree, guys.We gotta think of a way out of here," Alex said.

James, Angela, and Vincent headed for the huge pine tree. The ground was soggy and had pine needles all over. Each step made a deep imprint in the mud. The pine tree had clear sap running down the trunk. Insects had come and bore many holes in the bark.

"Alright, what's the plan?" Vincent asked.

"So, we came from the south, right?" Alex asked.

"No, the south doesn't exist any more. This isn't the time of the Civil War."

"Shut up, Vincent. You know what I mean. So, we just head back in that direction and we'll be home. everyone got it?"

Everyone agreed.

"Good. Okay, let's go before nightfall. There are owls and deer and killer wolves in these parts!"

"Stop it! You're scawing me!" James said in a little kid voice.

So the four buddies made sure they had everything and headed south. Dark clouds started rolling over the tall treetops. "At least it's not raining!" James yelled into the sky. "Ha! That's such a cliche in so many movies! Now it doesn't work!"

"Shh! It will work now stop!" Vincent said.

"AT LEAST IT'S NOT RAINING!!" James yelled even louder. A clap of thunder told the four a thunderstorm was coming.

"Thanks a lot, James! You just made this worse!"

"Dammit, James! Stop it!"

"You are soo not a demon. Prove it again!" Claudia demanded.


"That wasn't the question!"

"Master Claudia, I think that-"

"Silence! PROVE... IT... AGAIN!! Ow! Missionary! Don't pull my hair!"

"That wasn't me, Master. It was the demon!"

"That monster was killed years ago. This is the present!"

"Master Claudia I have to say-"


The chair Claudia was sitting in was pulled away from her, making her fall over.


"NO! NEVER!" Claudia said as she stood back up.

"Look, Alex. Now that I think about it, I think this trip was a bad idea," Angela said.

"No, this is not bad! Just James is bad. He's an idiot."

"It's true!" James butted in.

"I see. But I don't think we will ever get home. Oh, well. Guess I gotta go with the easiest way to solve my problems..."

"No! No suicide! I'll handcuff you again!"

"Hey, guys!" Vincent called. "There's a building over there!"

"Where?" Alex asked.

"In front of us! I think it's a ranger station! We're saved!" Vincent exclaimed, and ran for the building, nearly slipping on the wet mud. The other three followed soon after.

When they approached the building, Vincent was proven to be correct. The place was a ranger station, but it looked dilapidated. The sign was falling off the side, the wood was rotting, and there was a huge hole in the wall. "Hey! Is someone in there?"

There was some faint shuffling inside, and then Alex heard some footsteps approaching the door. A scruffy looking man opened the door. "Who the hell are you?" he said in a slurred voice.

"I'm Alex Shepherd. We're looking for a way-"

The man closed the door.

"Thanks for helping!" He said sarcastically.

More shuffling came along and the door opened again. "Who the hell are you?" asked a different man.

"I'm Alex. These are my friends. Who was that drunk man?"

"Me. I am awesome at imitating stuff, aren't I?"

"Whatever. Who are you?"

My name's-"

"Dante! Who's at the door?"

"No one!" The man apparently names Dante said.

"Dante? What kind of name is that?" Alex asked.

"My name. You got a problem with that?"

"Just... tell us how to get out of here."

"Dante, I saaaaaaid, who's at the door?"

"Who's that?" Angela asked.

"My girlfriend Jean. I love her."

"Uh... okay. So how do we-"

"Dante! Are you hitting on that poor suicidal girl?" Jean asked.

"No, Jean. I love you and no one else, not even my reflection."

"I don't like where this is going..." James whispered.

"Really? Aww, I love you, too. We should get married!"

"Sure. I gotta go kill some demons. And, there's one now!" Dante said, grabbing at Angela.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Angela screamed, trying to escape.

"I am going to kill you so my lovely Jean doesn't have to worry about me cheating on her. Right, Jean?"

"I love you, Dante..."

James wanted to puke. He hated romance... except for his life with Mary... before she died. "See yah!" he said, and ran away from the station. Vincent followed.

"Hey! HEY! What kind of friends are you?!" Alex yelled.

"The kind you don't want!" Vincent yelled.

They were out of sight in a few seconds, and Alex heard James trip and roll down a hill.

Alex turned back to Dante and Jean. They kept exchanging romantic phrases and all that stuff.

"I love you Dante."

"I love you, Jean. You're only my ten thousandth girlfriend. And that's an honor..."

"Aww! Let me kiss you!"

Alex turned away, but Angela was forced to watch because she was still under Dante's headlock. "No! I need to puke... BLARGH!!"

"Oh, hold on one minute Sweet Jean. Let me snap this competitor's neck..."

"No! Don't! I hate you, Dante! You're ugly! I never want to date you in my entire life!"

"So you're gay?" Dante asked.

"No!" Alex replied.

"Then why did you say you never want to date me? Am I too hot for you?"

"You got that right, Dante!" Jean said.

Alex felt angry. "ALEX SMASH!!" he said, and pried Dante's arms apart, letting Angela go.

"Oh, you weak fool. Jean, fetch me a sword."


"Thank you! Let's do this!!" Dante said, and was ready for a fight with Alex and Angela.

"I still don't have proof!"

"Master Claudia, please! I worry for your welfare! Maybe we should have played Candy Land a little longer..."

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