Yes, we are past 27...this series has got to make it to the 30's. It just has to. Welcome to part 28 of Love Lost, take a seat with Dr. Kaufmann. This introduction ends in just a second...almost there...
"So...Cheryl..." Dr. Kaufmann stood from his chair and paced around the room. His puny cup of alcohol rocked in his hand as he paused in mid-stride, looking down at his patient. "What happened after your parents...divorced?" He set his cup down on the table and his fingers tapped together like beating drums, in a pattern.
That one struck Cheryl where it hurt. Her life took a turn for the worst after her parents tore away from each other. "...There are no words." She mumbled, her soft voice almost barely leaving her lips. "I can't tell you how terrible it felt when I realized...when I..." That's when Cheryl felt the tears starting to dampen her eyelashes and she stopped speaking.
"That's okay, it's alright, no need to cry." Kaufmann noticed his usual trace of a cocky attitude was gone, and here he was trying to comfort his patient. "I'm simply asking how much you changed, not how you felt."
"...I felt like...like someone with bladed gauntlets had just stabbed me in the chest." Cheryl seemed sort of hesitant as she said this, as if she were thinking, whoa, how did that come up? "I started getting massive headaches all the time...Dahlia made me take pills to get rid of them...yellow ones."
"How intriguing." Kaufmann returned to his seat and took another sip of his drink. "Go on, then. Tell me more about how you felt."
Lisa gestured for Harry and Angela to take a seat. "Go and watch the T.V. if you want. I'm going to get out of this cruddy nurse uniform." She sighed while nonchalantly walking into her bedroom.
Harry grabbed the remote and started lazily flicking through channels while Angela counted how many times she'd ever wanted to kill herself but couldn't. "Hmm...Scooby-Doo...Miku's talk show..." Harry grumbled the names of the shows that were on. "A Day at Dr. K's..." He boredly yawned as he scrolled along the movies section.
"Yeah, down at the hospital I've been hard at work," Lisa growled while she yanked off the top of her uniform, trying to make small talk.
"You'd need to be in order to pay off the damage to that car and OMYGAWD HAVEN'T YOU HEARD OF CLOSING A DOOR, LISA?!" Harry held his blinded eyes and looked the other way. "IT BURNS!"
"Oops, sorry!" Lisa quickly slammed the door and blushed.
"OH, SPARDA, IT BURNS! MY EYES ARE BLEEDING!" Harry cried out.
Angela looked surprised. "Lisa, can you open the door again? Can looking at a naked Lisa be a good method of killing yourself?!"
Dante peeked through the door of the dining room and examined the area. Nero was writhing on the floor in agony, Mandy was cowering in a corner, and the very person who almost killed his girlfriend was making a speech, bragging about her victory. He growled and gripped his gun.
"Who's in there?" Jean and Vergil asked.
"Nero, Mandy, and the chick who had the nerve to attack my reason for living." Dante scowled.
"So what're we gonna do?" Jean asked, flipping her hair and smiling.
"It's simple. Me and Vergil go after the enemy and you stand there and look sexy." Dante instructed, patting Jean on the back and pointing a finger at his brother. "Vergil, time for your lil' bro to teach you a lesson in EPIC."
As Dante slammed open the door, he and Vergil stormed in with their weapons ready for attack. Bob didn't even flinch. "Hello, boys." She greeted them with an almost satisfied grin.
Dante didn't even bother looking at Bob, he was too distracted by Nero. "Hey, kid, you havin' some sort of seizure or something?" He ran over to Nero and kicked him.
"OW! No! I'm tranquilized by something for...uh...5 minutes!" Nero scoffed as he once again tried to move but ended up epically failing.
"Alright Verge, time to attack the enemy!" Dante began his "lesson" and pulled out Rebellion, scraping it along the carpet floor as his brother stood by his side and Jean entered the room. "First, I RIP MY COAT OFF FOR THE LADIES!" Dante flipped his snow-white hair magnificently as his hands flew to his sleeves and forcefully yanked his beautiful red jacket off, revealing pure and total muscle.
It took every bit of strength Jean had not to fall down and have her mouth foam uncontrollably.
Dante flexed both of his biceps and glared at Bob. "Boom. Boom. FIYA POWWAH." He snickered tauntingly as he clutched the end of his blade. "Verge, you try."
"I'd prefer if my clothes stayed ON my body, thank you very-" Vergil was interrupted by the feeling of Dante gripping his deep blue coat and tearing it away, revealing his muscular arms and manly shape. "...much." Vergil grumbled.
"Alright, finished dressing," Lisa sighed as she sheepishly left her bedroom and plopped on the beautiful red couch with Harry and the emo one. She looked over at Harry and sighed. "What are you watching?"
"Nothing, seems how my eyes are still burning insanely." Harry mumbled.
"Ugh...my head..." Lisa's hands flew to her forehead.
"Are you okay?!" Harry screamed at the top of his lungs, a scream that would rival Justin Bieber's chipmunk singing, while Angela once again groaned at his stupidity.
"Seriously! That's just like asking 'Are you okay' to the dying Cynthia of Silent Hill 4, thank you, Henry!" She scolded once again.
"It's just a headache..." Lisa explained while she groaned in pain once again.
"Yeah, you've got a head injury, headaches usually happen after those," Harry nonchalantly blew Lisa off.
"...Can you at least get me some pills? Yellow ones?" Lisa sighed.
Yellow pills...oh Lisa, everyone knows that clear pills are best. Part 29, anyone?