|“|| Your father and I... we loved you so much... but they said we could only choose one.
Lillian Shepherd is a character in Silent Hill: Homecoming. She is the wife of Adam Shepherd and the mother of Alex Shepherd, the game's protagonist, and Joshua Shepherd. Her family line is one of the four that founded the town of Shepherd's Glen.
When Joshua was born into the family, Lillian began to prioritize him over Alex. She spent a lot of time cradling Joshua in her rocking chair.
After Joshua died and Alex was sent away, Lillian was heard by Elle Holloway crying. One of Joshua's photos reveals that Margaret Holloway visited Lillian in her home, and during their conversation, Lillian cried.
It is unknown if Lillian knows of Joshua's death. She tells Alex that she misses Joshua, and that Adam went searching for Joshua. It is possible that Adam kept what happened to Joshua a secret from everyone for four years, including her, and had told her that Joshua was simply missing. However, Margaret Holloway seems to have some information on the subject, so it may be that everyone agreed it was just better if Lilian did not know.
Silent Hill: Homecoming
When Alex returns home, he finds his mother in a catatonic state. She tells him how everyone has gone and how she misses his brother. Alex soon discovers that she is in possession of a gun, which Alex takes from her. He promises her that he will find Joshua, which is apparently the only thing she can bring herself to talk about, as his whereabouts seem to be the only thing that matters to her. At the end of the conversation, she refuses to talk to the player if interacted with. Instead, she merely asks Alex, rhetorically, if he is looking for Joshua.
Later in the game, Alex, with the new-found information from his father's note, attempts to question his mother about Silent Hill and Joshua once again. He tells her, "Stop pretending you care about me and start telling me what's going on! Joshua is the only one you ever cared about, and I can help him if you tell me the truth!" However, during their conversation, Lillian is kidnapped by the Order and its Order Soldiers. They put a bag over her head and take her to Silent Hill.
When Alex finds her in Overlook Penitentiary, she is bound to a crucifix-like device that is slowly stretching her body and killing her. In pain, she begs her son to kill her. The player must then make a choice on whether to shoot her to end her suffering, or to refuse and let her live through the pain of having her abdomen vertically stretched to a degree that results in her death. The choice affects the ending the player receives. Choosing to mercy kill Lillian leads to the "Good" ending, implying that this is what the developers of the game felt was the morally superior decision to make.
It is commented in-game that Lillian was a talented woman. She enjoyed sewing clothes for the other women of Shepherd's Glen, and was a wonderful cook. Via Alex exploring the house, the player may learn that Lillian was overall very talented in various forms of the arts and enjoyed poetry. Despite this, she didn't like her sons reading comics since she felt it was a waste of time.
After her capture, and the truth of the town's history is revealed, Alex learns that she and her husband had been unable to show affection or love towards Alex due to the knowledge that he would one day be sacrificed. This explains the cold relationship they had with him, the seemingly preferential treatment they gave Joshua, and the lack of any emotion she displays at seeing him return.
After being questioned by Alex in regards to a note he had found, she is kidnapped by the Order and placed in solitary confinement. It is here, when Alex finally finds her tied to a crucifix-like machine which slowly stretches her body, that she shows remorse for her actions. She says she is sorry for the way they treated him, and explains to him that she and his father always wanted to love him. The pact with the Order, which forced them to sacrifice one of their children, was the only reason she couldn't love them both, and had to choose one of them to die.
- "Adam, I know that you will soon return to me, but I miss you dearly and writing to you always calms my nerves. Everything here is the same, but with you gone, the house is so empty..."
- "Alex... What are you doing here?"
- "I miss your brother, Alex."
- "Why are you talking to me? Aren't you supposed to be looking for your brother?"
- "Alex, honey, not now."
- "Just let me be, Alex."
- "I can't talk to you right now, Alex. I'm tired."
- "Oh, Alex... I'm so sorry."
- "You don't know anything about Silent Hill!"
- "Let me go, Alex. Ahhhh! It hurts... so much... make it stop... Please, Alex! Please!"
- "I love you." (final words to Alex)
- She is voiced by Elizabeth Lambert who also voiced Margaret Holloway in the same game.
- It can be speculated that Lillian is "L.S." in the Believers' Complaints memo.
- Both Adam and Lillian die by being separated into two pieces; Adam dies by being sliced in half, while Lillian dies be being torn in two. This is symbolic of both of them being "torn in half" between their two sons.
- If the player enters first person mode and looks at Lillian's face after her death, she can be seen faintly smiling. The Otherworld version of Shepherd House contains a life-size crucifix with a body on it; a mask must be placed on it to complete the puzzle with the smiling mask unused, possibly alluding to how her death was a release from her guilt and sadness.
- If Alex mercy kills his mother, there are no bullet holes or wounds on her forehead. It can be theorized Alex didn't shoot her in the forehead, but rather, her heart/chest. However, even if he did, Lillian would still be conscious in the 10 second timespan between the shot and the torture device, making the entire scene questionable.
- Unused text in the game reveals a comment from Alex about his mother: "I never thought I'd hear Mom say that she loved me. But I guess it took the fear of death to make her realize it. I spent so long hating her, and now, I can't believe she's gone."